i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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