at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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