I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
