paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize