Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
