so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
