Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
