Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize