im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
