it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just found a bag of teeth...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
