matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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