I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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