Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
