I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
