i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So vagazzling was a success
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
