im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
