It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
