Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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