kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
