If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
