Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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