You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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