i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't put those talents on a resume
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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