Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
