oh god the rape fog is back!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
