Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
