What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
