is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
