Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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