its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
