its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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