I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he told me I talked like a deaf person
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
