Your tits are I can't wait for
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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