therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
