she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
