i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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