I just threw up on my dentist
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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