please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
