Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize