Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
