Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Four minutes until I can fart!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
