that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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