I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
