He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
