I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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