Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
