It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
