Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
