I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
