I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
