if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
