she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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