Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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