i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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