you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
