maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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