"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
