I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
