The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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