I think I am morally bankrupt
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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