So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
