Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
