He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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