My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
