i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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