normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
