This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
