You made me cry and you don't even care
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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