Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
