last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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