guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
