there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize