i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
