Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
