im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
