Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
