My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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