i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
