Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
