I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
