she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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