i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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