you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
