first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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