idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
