I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
