On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
