i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
